Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
i need some magic done to my vagina
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
