I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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