And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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