we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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