I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
