hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
