It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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