yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
