I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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