I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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