also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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