I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
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Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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