READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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