so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
