Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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