You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
