uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
