Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
