Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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