he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
