I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
