I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
