Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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