I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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