I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
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No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
My liver just had a heart attack.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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