I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
