We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
