It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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