she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
