I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
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have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pee on everything he values.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize