whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
