I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
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girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
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I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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