Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
