But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
