I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
