last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
