im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
