I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
