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pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
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