the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...