i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it