the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.