we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?