you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
