my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
