Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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