I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
