i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
His nipple licking is glorious
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