I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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