at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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