The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
