So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
