I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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