Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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