I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
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Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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