they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize
