Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
