Your dad touched me again.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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