I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
