I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
