How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
