Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
