idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
