woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
All I want is dick and wine.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
