Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize