are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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