It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Couch. On fire.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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