guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
