So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
