You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
