Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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