is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize