after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
