I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
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I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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