I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
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