idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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