Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
is this the sara with the beer cane?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
