she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I bet he comes in French.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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