maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
