did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
