Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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