I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
